A to Z of Sling Myths Debunked Part 1

We have all heard friends, family, colleagues and even random strangers say things about using a sling or carrier which simply is not true. These myths exist usually because of lack of knowledge. This is going to attempt to be the A to Z of Sling Myths debunked. There is a mix of serious and more light-hearted ones. The term ‘sling’ will be used to refer to every type of carrier for purposes of ease. But whichever category they belong to there are 26 myths which need debunking. So let’s start with Part 1: A to M.


All the slings : It is quite common to visit sling boards and be inundated with stash shots from people who have lots of slings. You could easily believe that you are only a ‘true babywearer’ if you have a huge stash slings all neatly folded and stored. This is simply not true. Throughout life people collect different thing and you can be collector of slings if you wish. But equally valid is having one sling that meets you and your baby’s needs. It doesn’t matter if you have one or one hundred; all that matters is you are keeping your baby close.

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Back carrying: There is no best before date on back carrying. If you don’t want or need to do it then you do not need to. It does not make you any less of a sling mummy or daddy than someone who back carries from day 1. It is personal preference. If you choose to start don’t worry if you give up the first few times. Make it a game and practice simply getting your baby on and off your back to begin with. When you do start make sure you and your baby are comfortable, and have a spotter or a soft mattress available.

C Shaped Spine: The spine is not straight but it takes around a year for babies spines to take on the s-shape associated with an adult spine. At birth, babies are in curled up, with their spine in a natural long gentle curve. As the muscles in baby’s neck get stronger, they begin to lift his heavy head, and a curve starts to develop in his neck (the cervical curve). When your baby starts crawl the lumbar curve (lower back) develops. People will often refer to the curled up state of a newborns spine as a C-shape. However, we all write the letter C in different ways and it can be extremely curled up. A curled up position can cause baby’s chin to touch their chest and this holds risks of positional asphyxia. Ideally we should discuss a j-shaped spine where babies head is supported to prevent chin on chest but where lower spine is curved.

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http://www.babyslingsafety.co.uk British Consortium of Sling Retailers and Manufacturers 2010

Dangerous: There are dangers throughout life and using a sling is not inherently dangerous. However, like any form of equipment if you do not know what you are doing, or do not follow the instructions there is the potential for harm. The group of babies most at risk are newborn (with increased risk for low birth weight or premature) babies. To minimise risks to baby it is important to follow the TICKS guidelines (Tight, Inview, Close enough to kiss, Keep chin off chest, Supported back). Ensuring your baby is visible at all times and that there airway is kept clear will help reduce risks. This super article by Dr Rosie Knowles of Sheffield Sling Surgery is an excellent resource for what you need to consider when carrying a newborn in a sling.

Expensive: This myth I read a lot and probably is also associated with ‘Alltheslings’. Using a sling can be as cheap or as expensive as you want to make it. If you want to buy a handwoven or limited edition sling it will cost you. However, there are numerous budget makes available. Woven wraps can be purchased new for around £40-£50 from companies such as Little Frog or Lenny Lamb. This price is comparable to umbrella fold strollers for example, but unlike these wraps tend to hold their value. When buying a handwoven or handmade carrier you are buying someone’s time and skills not just the sling. You don’t however need to own a Limited Edition (where market economics mean price will often go up) or a handwoven/ handmade sling if you cannot afford it. Making your own Simple Piece of Cloth sling is often suggested but when quality fabrics cost approx. £10/metre you are not really getting a sling cheaper. The sling designed and manufactured to be used as a sling will often be more comfortable than the sling fashioned from general use fabric.

Forward Facing Out (FFO): Is not dangerous to your baby. Contrary to popular here say there is no evidence that carrying your baby forward facing out or in a high street carrier is harmful for either baby or adult. Using them cannot cause hip dysplasia, although it can increase risks for those with condition. High street carriers and the FFO position are primarily a concern because they are not always supportive for baby or wearer. There are time limits on this positon although these are regularly ignored. There are there for both of your comfort. Babies should never be left to sleep FFO as in this positon, and if carrier not adjusted correctly for baby’s chin to touch their chest. You can read more about Forward Facing Out here http://blog.norwichslinglibrary.co.uk/a-bad-reputation-deserved/.

Getting too heavy: Surely once they start walking you stop carrying them? Are they not too heavy to carry? These are phrases I hear a lot. My point is that you do not just stop using a pushchair once your little one starts to walk, so why stop carrying? If you would push them or carry them in arms then it is perfectly acceptable and possible to carry them in a sling. For most parents who have carried their children from birth they do not notice their child getting heavier as the adults body adapts to the weight, like it would with any exercise. There is a vast array of sling on the market and many have been safety tested to high amounts. Little legs, even walking legs, tire quickly and having a sling in your bag is a lot more convenient than taking a pushchair just in case you need it.

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Help is required: It is often assumed that using a sling, especially a wrap or back carrying, will require two people. This is simply not the case and could actually be more dangerous than one person doing it by themselves. The reason being the person in charge of the sling knows what they are doing, they know what their next movement is going to be, where the pass or strap is going to go, they know where their baby is. A second person is either guessing what you are going to do or reliant on your instructions, and in some cases going to do their own thing. Who is in control of sling and more importantly baby now? If you need 2 people then you are doing something incorrectly.

Independent: Using a sling or carrier will not make your child clingy. Maslow’s ‘Hiearachy of Needs’ places security as a primary need for development, and this need must be met for a child to grow and thrive. By using a sling you are allowing your child to develop strong attachments to a care giver which will allow them to have the confidence to explore the world alone in long run. Attachment Theory explains how human beings respond within relationships when hurt, separated from loved ones, or perceiving a threat (Waters et al 2005). At the start of their lives babies will have the strongest attachments to those they are closest to, usually the mother, and those with strong attachments will explore more easily than those that don’t (Schacter et al 2009). Therefore do not fear creating a rod for you own back by attending to and following your child’s needs; that is simply not how their brains are designed to function.

Just a minute: We have all seen it. The video of the lady wrapping with a stretchy in super quick time (less than a minute). The problem is if you listen carefully there are voices in the background which give you a clue. It’s been filmed on time lapse. Yes it makes it look easy and quick. And yes wrapping a stretchy can be  quick but it takes practice. What the video doesn’t show is whether wrap is a one or two way stretch or the key elements of tightening a stretchy to make it safe and comfortable on both baby and wearer. Take time to learn how to tie and ask for help from someone trained if you need it. Don’t worry if you don’t wrap quickly at the start. The more you do it, the quicker you will become.

Knee to Knee: The theory behind Knee to Knee is that you can create a more comfortable carry for baby by supporting their legs from their knee pit to knee pit. The proponents of Knee to Knee often suggest that you need a new carrier when your child is not supported in their knee pits but the life span by which a carrier is truly knee to knee is relatively short, and this could cause you to be regularly changing your carrier unnecessarily. Knee to knee is an issue of comfort not safety and a carrier does not become uncomfortable overnight. There are lots of other issues which should be considered when thinking of buying a new carrier. A carrier that is supporting a baby Knee to Knee is helping to support their hip joint and healthy hip development, but for babies that are able to bear their own weight and walking, the process by which their hips have turned to born is complete and any potential there was in casing in harm is removed. Why not have a read of Beyond the Knee to Knee see what other issues need to be considered.

Lifestyle: There is no one type of parent who uses a sling. Although they are often associated with Attachment Parenting you do not need to be an Attachment Parent to use a sling. Many followers of AP for example do not use or a sling, while others use a mixture of sling, walk or pram. As parents we do what makes life easier for us and our children. Using a sling can be a temporary choice for a special occasion, a day trip where it the pushchair is unsuitable, or because baby is ill and wants extra cuddles. It can also be because it makes your life easier to look after other children or go about daily routines. Anyone can use a sling if they feel they want to, it does not mean you follow a set lifestyle or parenting philosophy.

Modern Invention: I have lost count of how many times I have heard “oh that’s clever, did you invent it yourself?” The truth is that for as long as humans and our predecessors have needed to move, our offspring have needed to be carried. This is why a newborn baby will turn their feet towards each other and why they have a grasping reflex; it was to hold on. Humans are clinging young. We cannot run with our parents from birth, do not have pouches where we can be kept safe, or live in nests quiet and out of sight of predators, we needed to cling to our parents to be kept safe. The modern invention is the pram, only becoming fashionable in the 1800s during Queen Victoria’s reign. Each culture around the world has their own tradition of carrying and style of sling or carrying aid. You can read more about the different histories of sling use around the world in the beautiful book “Beloved Burden” or at Sling Babies.

Come back soon to read Part 2 A to Z of Sling Myths Debunked – N to Z.


References

Waters, E., Corcoran, D. & Anafarta, M. (2005) ‘Attachment, Other Relationships, and the Theory that All Good Things Go Together’ Human Development 48:80–84

Schacter, D.L. et al. (2009). Psychology, Second Edition. New York: Worth Publishers. pp.441

Keeping warm and dry with the BellyFit adapter: Feel good in your own jacket

detail_Belly%20Fit  The BellyFit is a soft shell zip-in panel, with optional zip adapter, that zips in to expand your existing jacket during pregnancy and baby-carrying. Lovingly made in Montreal, Canada. 

In the 5 years I have been carrying I think I have tried every variation of keeping me and my baby dry. I’ve tried covers, coats, ponchos, carrying over normal coats you name it and eventually I did settle on a babywearing coat. My trusty coat however is showing signs of age. This is its forth winter and although perfect for back carries, the Velcro  that closes the gap on my back for when I am front carrying has long since lost its stick. However my normal coat is warm and toasty for me but there wasn’t enough room for me and Isaac. Therefore when I was given the opportunity to test the BellyFit adapter by Makemybellyfit I was eager to try it out.wpid-wp-1423767234301.jpeg

The BellyFit is a zip in panel which turns any zipped coat into a pregnancy or baby carrying coat. It is suitable for front carries only. My baby is nearly 3 and I was amazed by how roomy it was. I think this surprised Ben, the founder.  I assume he sees his target market as small babies and bumps but I was pleasantly surprised by how well it works with older babies too. I was sent the soft shell zip in panel and an additional optional warmth layer. The zip in panel works without adapters for jackets which have a zip with at least one slider with VISLON and 5VS on the back of it. The website has a very clear Which Adapter section if your coat does not have this type of zip. The questions were easy to follow and help you ensure you buy the right one. When you complete the form they tell you what zip you need to make the adapter work for your jacket. I was lucky I didn’t need one.

VISLON_5VS_REQUIREMENTS_mediumThe zip in panel works with coats that have a zip of between 60 and 80cm, and additional adapters can be purchased if your coat is bigger than this.

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Each BellyFit comes also with what the company call a Snaparoo. This snaps onto the outside of panel and is adjustable elastic to help you create a more custom fit. I used this to help narrow the top of panel when Isaac wanted to look out. The height of panel did allow for him to snuggle in and hide when he wanted to go to sleep too. My own jacket has both a zip and popper closure so I was able to fold the BellyFit away and use poppers to do my coat up when I was not carrying Isaac rather than having to add and remove panel.

The BellyFit has a thumbs up from me. Mine was sent direct from manufacter in Canada and they do not currently have a UK Stockist, however, there is a European seller based in Ireland: ItsyBitsy. You can purchase the zip in panel, warmth layer and adapters from this site. The cost of the panel and warmth layer I was sent is 66euros (£48) making it cheaper than a specific babywearing coat. The fact it can be used as a maternity panel also means I feel it is excellent value for money. Well done MakeMyBellyFit, we love the BellyFit.

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Should we stop using the term ‘babywearing’?

I am extremely lucky. I have had two pregnancies and I have two babies. I know other are not so blessed. My boys are my world and even though they are 5 and 2 they will forever be my babies. I have carried them through pregnancy, in my arms and in a variety of slings and carriers. I have also used the term “babywearing” a lot but now I am thinking; should we really use it?
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The term Babywearing was first used by Dr Sears and is one of his 7B’s of Attachment Parenting. I never thought I would be an AP parent and until Henry was about 4 months old I had never heard of it or Dr Sears, let alone babywearing. As I come through the trials of new parenthood and we are now in the “big boy” categories of preschool and school age I looked back at how I choose to parent and I did what was natural and seemingly unconsciously based my parenting on what understanding of child development and psychology I learnt during my degree. Using a sling was just a) practical and b) what seemed like the best way of keeping my little one close while I carried on. I did not start carrying Henry because I wanted to be seen to be an AP parent, because I was a hippy or want to carry some form of fashion accessory.
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Yet my website states I am a babywearing consultant; by using it am I somehow making light of what I do? Or why we carry our babies? Does it create an us and them barrier? Does it make people think I won’t help them with their high street carrier? Does it make assumptions that I want everyone to use wraps? Does it make people think if they do x, y or z that I won’t help them? These questions bother me but it’s a term that is becoming more widely known and recognised. Do I stop using it because it upsets some groups and individuals or do I carry on, after all my babies will always be my babies? Or should we use something different? Baby carrying? Am I simply a Carrying Consultant?
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Finding an answer to these questions is not going to be easy. While I know some organisations refuse to use the term babywearing I am not sure where I sit. But life is not black and white. As an industry we may never find a solution either. So in the meantime I might just plod in as I am.

Consultations packages – what is available?

What is a sling consultation?

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Babywearing is an art which has been traditionally passed down from generation to generation, and friend to friend. However, in the UK the skills are less well known. In July 2011 I decided that I wanted to do something about this and so established the NE Sling Library using the knowledge I had gained since I learnt to carry my son. Very quickly I decided that I wanted to increase my professional knowledge and undertake further training. There are so many different baby carriers on the market that choosing one can be quite confusing.DSCF2830

I have trained with three different UK babywearing schools; including Trageschule, School of Babywearing and Slingababy. I am also a Born to Carry Tutor. These course have given me a detailed and indepth understanding of the different slings and carriers on the market, and the skills to be able to help you on your carrying journey. As a babywearing consultant it is my aim to help you find the best way to carry your baby. I use the knowledge I have about your baby’s anatomy and different carriers to help you find the best solution. I have a variety of different carriers to choose from. Standard (90 and 60 minute) consultations include the hire of one sling for a minimum of two weeks. I have professional, product and public liability insurance and am fully trained to offer consultations. For your peace of mind I am also a member of the British Association of Babywearing Instructors and Baby Carrier Industry Alliance.

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I serve the whole north east – County Durham, Sunderland, Newcastle, Northumberland, Teeside, North Tyneside, South Tyneside and beyond. I offer consultations from my designated consultation room at 13 Brecken Way, Meadowfield, Durham, DH7 8UZ. Price can include travel within DH1 AND DH7 postcodes but if I travel to you, (I can travel further afield I simply ask that my expenses are covered) this limits what I can bring. Also please check before booking that the appointment you wish to select is suitable for an at home visit in case I already have appointments booked at home.  Consultations are held on Wednesdays and Thursday’s. Other days available by request but are subject to convenience fees.  To book simply visit our online booking system.

What packages are available?

It is my aim to find the type of consultation space 1appointment suitable for you and your babies needs, and as such offer a variety of different types. Standard, follow up and paired consultations include sling hire for a minimum of 2 weeks. I have an online booking system which allows you to choose and book your own appointment at a time and date that is convenient for you.

Standard Consultation £30 for 90 minute appointment (£25.00 for 1hour). This is designed for one baby and their parents. I discuss with you your requirements, benefits of babywearing etc, before offering demos of different types of slings/carriers. You then get the chance to practise using either your baby if you wish or a weighted demo doll. At the end of the appointment you are able to select one sling from the NE Sling Library to take home for a 2 week complimentary period (usual deposit fees remain although these are refundable). If during this period you find the sling isn’t right for you it is possible to swap it for a different carrier (subject to it being in stock).

Paired and Group Consultations  – £45 for 90 minutes (2 babies). This type of consultation is designed for groups of similar aged babies. The price includes sling hire fo up to 2 babies and additional hire can be arranged for groups up to a maximum of 4 at the additional rate of £5 per sling. Context of consultation remains as close to the standard consultation as possible.

Follow up Consultation – £18 for up to an hour. This appointment is for people who have previously had a Standard Consultation but want more advice, support, practise etc. Again it includes a 2 week hire from the NE Sling Library at the end of the appointment.

Sling demo –   £15 for 45 minutes. This is package is aimed at expectant parents who want to be introduced to different slings before their baby is born. During this appointment I briefly explain the benefits of Babywearing before showing you the different styles of carriers on the market and how they work.

Sling Clinic Slots – £18 for 60 minutes. If you already own a specific sling and want to learn how to use it this is the appointment for you. Or finding something isn’t quite working for you and want to solve it. Does not include sling hire although this can be arranged at normal hire rate.

Workshop Wednesday’s – £10 per person (56p booking fee if paying by card). Workshop Wednesdays are a small group workshop held on 1st Wednesday of each month and focus on a specific sling or skill. They are advertised on our Facebook page.

Born to Carry Peer Support Courses – Although I arrange courses myself, if you have a group of friends or colleagues who would like to undertake a Babywearing Peer Support Course these can be arranged privately.Born to Carry are a UK network of highly trained, qualified and insured tutors. We have a variety of backgrounds from teaching to medicine. These courses cover safety, benefits of babywearing and practical sessions on using and optimising carriers.  A minimum of 2 participants to ensure course runs with a maximum of 8.

Bump to Baby Package – £50. This package is designed in 3 parts and would be ideal as a gift to expectant parents or for parents wanting to get to grips with slings from the start.  It includes a 30 minute antenatal sling demo. When baby is here I can either come to you (although this limits how many slings I can bring) or you can come to me for a full 90 minute Standard Consultation (this allows for baby to be fed, changed etc and refreshments for parents). You will then get to select the sling you feel most comfortable with or that you feel is right for you from the NE Sling Library to take for an extended 4 week hire period. If during this time you feel this isn’t the sling for you it is possible to swap it for one of the others you tried during the consultation. The final part of the package is a Follow up consultation. This can be immediately after the 4week hire period or at any point in the next 6 months, and again includes a complimentary hire from the NE Sling library (2week period).

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Exactly who am I then?

I am Rachel but exactly who am I? Well basic stats I am 31, 5’10 and 10 stone. I mum of two boys and a wife. I am a qualified history teacher but no longer teach; instead I am a Stay at Home Mum. But is that me? Am I destined to be doing the school run and mums taxi for next 15 years or so?

Well I am also a Carrying Consultant and Sling Librarian. I suppose that makes me a business woman. After all I had to register as self employed when I started the library in 2011. I have trained with three UK Babywearing schools, I write for Close Enough to Kiss, blog and moderate for Natural Mamas, have maintained the sling directory for UK Sling Libraries Network since 2011 and for past year acted as Calin Bleu’s expert. I recently took on a directorship of The Up Baby Project UK CIC. Finally I am also a course tutor for Born to Carry helping educate the next generation of peer supporters.

My life is therefore a full one but plagued by anxiety. I can’t help but feel something is missing from it and that others want me to fail. So, if you ask me how I am I may say busy or I may burst into tears. Am I happy? I am. I just need to get the demons put back in their box.