Getting appropriate help

rachaelAs a Babywearing Consultant I see families of all shapes and sizes. I regularly see babies, toddlers and parents with complex medical needs. I also see families who just want to carry their children. They have sought my help and my expertise. They know I have been trained (and continue to do so) to help them. I am insured to help them. The number of Babywearing Consultants in the UK has grown massively since I first qualified. There are 3 active training schools in the UK, with 2 based on the continent who can arrange course here too. I have been doing this for over 4 years (nearly 5 as a sling librarian only). I have thousands of hours of experience. This experience is priceless.

As a consultant I do charge.  I charge because I have expenses to cover and a small living to make (this is my sole employment). I have carriers to buy and replace, insurance costs, BABI membership, website and printing costs, even simple things like tea and coffee. For £30 families get 90 minutes of my time, to demo, teach and trouble shoot, and a sling to take away to try. I can spot common mistakes, provide alternative ways of starting or simply say stop let’s start again. They get support before the appointment: from booking, to being able to select appropriate carriers before they arrive based on the needs they have expressed, post -consultation support via email, by phone and from within my group. They have a pack of materials to take home. Tell me how a YouTube channel gives you continued support?

cut screenshotThere are a plethora of YouTube tutorials (hey I have my own) and lots of Facebook groups out there. I am a member of lots of them and even admin in some. I give this time for free. I do it to provide some form of I hope trained, clear and high quality support. But, there is only so much I can do via text. Sometimes there are just times when I need to see people in person, or they need 1:1 help from their local consultant (find yours on Sling Pages). There are times when very often I simply just put “see a consultant”.  For example:

“My baby is 3 weeks old but only weighs 5lb”

“My baby was premature, what is the best stretchy to use?”

“I have x,y,z condition can I use a sling?”

“My friend has just had a baby but it has X,y,z, what should I buy them?”

charlotteThey are just a few examples. These families need support but they need specialist support. Carrying a low birth weight or premature baby need special consideration. Are there issues with muscle tone? Feeding or oxygen tubes to work around? Special handling techniques needing to be followed? It isn’t simply just a case of follow TICKS, as crucial as they are not the only consideration. I also sometime see people suggest “visit a sling library”. But for the cases above and many more this is would not be appropriate, and I say this as a sling librarian from a large and active sling library. The simple issue being time. They require more time than I can physically give in approximately 10 minutes. I have a plea, as good as your intentions are by saying “visit a sling library”, please think, would a better reply, for those families with additional needs, be “visit a consultant”. Help families to get the appropriate help to their needs. Appropriate doesn’t need to be because they have complex needs. It may be they want to try lots, worried about feeding in public, can’t make the times the library is open.

upbabyprojectuk-logo-square_hi-resFor families with babies (or wider family) with complex needs but who can’t afford a consultation it is worth contacting The Up Project. For those in the North East I am their DBS checked and I house trained consultant. I give my time for free to this worthy cause. If you don’t qualify under their terms, it is worth asking your local consultant if they can offer payment plan, skills swap or reduced price appointments too. We want to help as many families as possible, we simply can’t do it for free.

Reflections of a babywearing consultant and mother

Four years ago today I had just been discharged from Ward 8 of the University Hospital of North Durham, also known as ‘labour ward’ or the delivery suite.

Four years ago today I had just been discharged from Ward 8 of the University Hospital of North Durham, also known as ‘labour ward’ or the delivery suite. I had been there since 11am after being sent as an emergency by my community midwife following a routine 33 week appointment that morning. I had spent the previous evening and most of the night in agony. My bump tightening and feeling very sick. I had barely slept. I couldn’t eat. I felt, as the ‘On this Day’ feature of Facebook tells me, “like death warmed up”. 

Today it is Mother’s Day and I am blessed to be the mum of two beautiful boys and a loving husband. They have spoilt me rotten today.

  

Baby C thankfully did stayed put. The tightening’s continued and I spent most of the next 5 weeks on bed rest before ‘nesting’ kicked in at 39 and a bit weeks. Isaac was born at 40+5, a Born Before Arrival birth in just 18 minutes, he has been a whirlwind ever since. He is my carried baby. He is the one I carried from 8 hours old. Carried when he couldn’t feed, carried when breathing difficulties associated with Obstructive Sleep Apnoea meant he couldn’t breathe, carried as he recovered from countless chest infections and medical procedures, carried following surgery and carried to keep him close when he was scared. He is a definite ‘mummies boy’.

  

But Henry, carried for the practical reason of walking the dog is just as loving. This morning, he came downstairs, got a bowl, filled it with Special K and milk and carried it carefully upstairs to give me ‘breakfast in bed’. Nobody told him to do it, he came into the bedroom silently. I didn’t even know it was there. Unfortunately by the time I did it was inedible. But that isn’t the point. He did it for me, because I am his mum, because he loves me. He might be a true boy, rushing about at 100 miles an hour. Off without a second glance when we get to the school yard each morning but he knows I am there. From the little quick kiss that he plants on my forehead then walks away, or the hand he puts on my lap when he thinks no one is looking, they are his way of saying that I mean something to him. He made me a mother. He and Isaac have shaped my very being since the minute they were created.

 

Without them I would not be me. I am not just Henry’sMummy (my username on many a forum) or Henry and Isaac’s Mummy. I am Rachel but being Henry and Isaac’s mummy is a very big and special part of me.

Without them I would not be me. I am not just Henry’sMummy (my username on many a forum) or Henry and Isaac’s Mummy. I am Rachel but being Henry and Isaac’s mummy is a very big and special part of me.

The day before Isaac’s attempted arrival I had completed my first every babywearing consultation. I had finished my Trageschule Foundation course just 28 hours before. I had travelled nearly 600 miles in 4 days, completed a 2 day course and then a 90 minute consult (it was during that the pains started). And do you know what? I wouldn’t change it for the world. I completed my last consultation just 11 hours before he was born and restarted them just 3 weeks later.

I had finished my Trageschule Foundation course just 28 hours before. I had travelled nearly 600 miles in 4 days, completed a 2 day course and then a 90 minute consult (it was during that the pains started). And do you know what? I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I am honoured to be a carrying or babywearing consultant. I am honoured that so many Mother’s and Father’s let me into their homes, or come to mine, let me hold their precious bundles, their miracles of creation, carry them and show them how to do carry them too. Whether they are their biological children, the result of IVF, surrogacy or adoption, they are all special, they are all unique. Each family is unique. Each set of circumstances unique. I have completed hundreds of consultations since then. Thousands of hours are spent dedicated to helping each family, before, during and after their appointment. My own children are often the ones to suffer, while I answer the phone or an email. They want me but I know others want and need me too. It is a balancing act that I am still mastering.

  
 Four years since I qualified as a babywearing consultant I have gone on to complete 3 more consultancy training courses, I have grown my sling library, I have stopped teaching, I have become solely self employed with all the ups and downs it brings. I have shown strength I didn’t know I had. I have cried tears of joy and sadness. I have spent sleepless nights worrying about families and hoping that I have made their lives just a little bit easier. I am truly thankful for the life that my children have allowed me to lead. Without them and their need to be carried, I would not have found slings. I would not have found the mamas who shared their knowledge with me, I would not have found something I have a passion for and a belief in. Thank you to my boys, my husband and the hundreds of families who have asked me to help them. Thank you to my Mum, who is the reason I am here.

Happy Mother’s Day everyone. I hope you have enjoyed it. I hope you have been spoilt and I hope you have many, many more to come.

What the flip? Part Two: How to create a close shoulder flip.

In my recent What the flip? article I discussed the reasons why shoulder flips can be useful when using a number of different slings. It considered the reasons for and against closed and open shoulder flips. In this piece I am going to look at two different methods of achieving a closed shoulder flip. A closed shoulder flip is a secure flip. It helps create a clear space around baby, can make a sling more comfortable by spreading weight over a wider area, help support knee by creating a vertical line and supporting the back with a horizontal line. Learning how to achieve them is a skill that can add an extra set of tools to a sling users toolkit.

There are two methods to achieving a closed shoulder flip. There is a large level of personal preference in which method will choose to use. Neither is the right way. It is up to you. The first involves allowing the fabric to fall from your shoulder before lifting the bottom rail up to your neck. The second requires you to guide the top rail underneath the sling until it has taken the place of the bottom rail. Both work equally well, both are secure closed flips.

 Method 1 – fall and fold.

Decide which carry you wish to do and why you need to achieve a shoulder flip. I am doing a front double hammock. I have switched which wrap I use for teaching purposes during the slide show.

In this method you allow the wrap to fall gently from your shoulder slightly, creating enough space for you to fold the bottom rail up so that it is closest to your neck, creating the vertical line to support the babies knee. When you have completed this, gently gather the slack on your shoulder so you are left with a small capped sleeve, rather than the full width of wrap down your arm.

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 Method 2 – up and under.

Here you can see the method  of reaching underneath and working top rail out. Choose which carry you are wishing to create. I was opting for a Front Double Hammock here. Supporting babies weight with one hand reach up and underneath the fabric to grab the top rail. With this wrap this is the pink stripe. Gentle work this underneath the fabric until it is out in the place of the bottom rail. As you can see here the purple bottom rail is now closest to my neck and the pink stripe is now on outside furthest away from me. This pink top rail is helping to support babies back and provide tension to the carry. The purple stripe is creating a vertical line from babies knee and helping to support this it.

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Once achieved closed shoulder flips are extremely comfortable and secure. Why not have a go too? Why do you like a shoulder flip? Do you opt for open or closed?

 

 

  

Carrying and its role in Toby and Teddy’s lives

The next in our blog series on carrying children with additional needs is written by Rachel. She is a mum of two boys and lives in the North East. Her eldest son was diagnosed with Autism just after his second birthday. Autism is a spectrum disorder and those with the condition can vary in severity. Autistic Spectrum Disorders are a “condition that affects social interaction, communication, interests and behaviour”.  Difficulties in communication and social interaction can have a massive impact on families. Carrying Toby, and his younger brother Teddy, has allowed Rachel and her husband to adjust. I will let Rachel take over now. Continue reading

The Tired Mummy Chicken Pox Survival Kit

img_1877Isaac has Chicken Pox! It has been 3 years since the pox last hit our house. Henry had it in the summer so we basically lived in the garden for a week. Unfortunately, it is a tad too chilly in February to be spending our days in the garden. The pox has been at nursery for a few weeks but up to now Isaac had avoided it but not anymore! I got the phone all from nursery yesterday afternoon to say could I collect him. This morning it is very clear that it is Chicken Pox.

Henry took chicken pox in his stride. He was happy as long as he wore a long sleeved cricket top and a fleece jumper.

Isaac on the other hand is Isaac. Nothing is ever plain sailing. A 15 minute battle to put camomile lotion on is testament to that. I have a feeling it is going to be a very long day, especially as Henry and Daddy are off to watch the new Star Wars movie after school. Typically the pox has arrived when Martin and I had plans for the weekend – tickets for the Calcutta Cup (Scotland v England) in the Six Nations Rugby.

So here is my survival kit and how I intend to cope over the next few days: plenty of tea, antihistamine, infant paracetamol, calamine cream, slings (my Opitai and preschool Connecta Baby Carrier Solar), suck pads for the straps of the carriers, my Boba Hoodie and copious amounts of chocolate, oh and the TV/iPad.


The antihistamine, calamine cream and the infant paracetamol are to help treat the Isaac’s symptoms. The antihistamine and calamine cream to stop the itching, and the paracetamol to treat his temperature. The slings allow me to care for his needs and want to be held. When children are poorly they want and need comfort. The Opitai is a custom size wrap conversion and the Connecta is made from the lightweight Solar fabric. Both are soft and non-irritating on his already “scratchy mummy” skin. The Boba Hoodie allows us to walk the dog and get some fresh air (yes I am as tired as I look) while both staying warm. He is refusing to get dressed in anything other than the fleece pyjamas he got for Christmas. The chocolate and tea are for me (although he has already spied the chocolate). The iPad and TV are keeping him entertained and helping him to forgot that he wants to scratch. The car will probably be coming into use too so that I can get him to sleep (he is pretending in the photo of Boba Hoodie).

 

What is your top tip for coping with Chicken Pox? I’d love him to have an oat bath but so far the idea of him going in bath or shower is apparently abhorrent.